You know what, grow up....you nasty.

I see potential and I like it. Maybe even a little bit in love with it. Either way I'm mostly happy with it.

Is it weird that I never consider marriage? Marriage is not a concept of a relationship I grew up knowing, therefore I don't stress over not being at that stage in my life yet...I'm too busy stressing over other things ;) Damn, now that I'm thinking about it, even with Ally G I would've just wanted forever...not necessarily through marriage....just together...he and I...together. vulnerable to each other on our own terms.

Ahhh well. +L-A together forever? I'm not sure...I'm happy today while working on getting through tomorrow first.

untitled.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nxfFMrMqDM

Ahhhh Anthony Hamilton's voice is just so...so...just as melodic as a heartbeat.



Tomorrow's the last day of School!!!

Summertime vocab has already started...Just 2 1/2 more weeks until my actual vacation begins. Sucks to not be a teacher...sometimes...well only during the next 2 1/2 weeks.

Off to take a nap...gotta go out tonight. I love NOLA...only in NOLA do you go to the club to hang out from 12-2 am then back to sleep because I have to be at work for 8ishy ;)

Dear Summer

LMAO. Ellis told me that I needed to write all my thoughts down because somewhere between my head and mouth they get lost in words like "I don't know" and "I mean."

I mean I try to write but I don't know...I just don't get to it as much as I want to...

then I said something so profound to his situation.

i know...huh.

it's like that.

"I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh No they can't"

"I'm un-Common like Erykah" -Jean Grae

November 21, 2000, Mama's Gun is released and is forever connected to my life story.

It seems strange that a yearly event is worth getting excited over...after all, New Orleans is home to some of the Best music festivals...period. Jazz Fest is no exception. And to make the pot just a little sweeter, just throw in a performance by Silly E. Badu...Ms. Analog Girl in a Digital World herself.




She opened with the song that makes Amy Winehouse's Back to Black seem like a chummy love anthem (btw I heart this cd):


**Clears throat**
My eyes are green
Cause I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing to do with your new friend

Ahhh, take me back Erykah!

Remember the first time you heard "Green Eyes?" I do. His name was Jesse...then Chad.

This song couldn't be more honest and pure to hurt, insecurity, denial, uncertainty, love, lust, pain and at the end...healing.

Thank you Andre' 3000. Thank you Jesse. Thank you Chad.

But most of all, thank you Erykah. You've shared more with us than some women can get from the women in their own lives. Your heart went into every word of every verse of every song that was penned for Mama's Gun and I'm forever grateful to you for it all. Your lessons and experiences are not in vain.

Thanks

~E

Art of Storytelling...Part Yeezy

seems like streetlights glowing
happened to be just like moments
passing, in front of me so
i hopped in, the cab and
i paid my fair, see
i know my, destination
but im just not there

808s and Heartaches

I miss Lover

Cause day n nite.
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at nite
He’s all alone through the day n nite.

Get me, get me, out of this box. I feel so claustrophobic in here...

This cd still does it for me

Lie to yourself long enough and you'll believe what you say

The series of effed up events have lead me to this place called unhappiness. Now I'm on the pursuit to her better half.

There are so many things that I've given up for the acceptance of others, for things that money can't buy. I've compromised and justified every aspect of Self for selfish things.

Tonight I want to be better than I was this morning. Tonight I want to turn in the direction that will lead me to a place I once dwelled in. A place that allowed my Self to be at peace no matter what was going on around me. I've lost that place and oh how I miss it. I can't remember exactly what it felt like but even though the memory isn't clear...the thoughts make my soul smile.

I don't want to go to work today....

"I'd rather stay home and play video games
I'd rather chill for real
I don't know how you feel
But sometimes I feel like I'm
Workin' for nuthin' tryin' to get sumthin'
Every where I turn there's a bill standing out
Swim the river climb the hill
Complacency you ain't gone get me no no no no"

5 weeks of vacation is over and work begins again tomorrow ;( this emoticon doesn't express how I truly feel about the aforementioned statement.

Gosh this summer just seemed to just happen over a weekend. We tagged this the "Summer for lovas 2.0"....ha! I guess...let's review...in the order that I remember things

Ahhhh Essence,,,,Kanye...Best performance ever! And this is coming from the girl who had 3 row center stage tickets to the Heart of the City tour! Shit I have the Graduation cd in my car right now for days where I don't want to hook up the ipod...so I guess Graduation is my default music?




Ohhh I began knitting...umm I have a ways to go


I was FloRidin several times this summer and became very spoiled with friends who have beach houses and private beaches


Ahhh I hosted several themed dinner parties/game nights



Then I ended up becoming a habitual line crosser



Along with the influx of this got damned heat index of Hell seasons between close friends have changed. I have yet to address a couple of relationships because one of them needs time apart and the other lacks trust. I feel my lack of interest in pursuing and mending either friendship has a lot to do with my emotional interest to those relationships. Fucked up as it may sound I've put those situations on the backburner...and they've been in pergatory ever since. For some reason over the past year I've been able to become emotionally detached to a lot of relationships that are complex. It's hard to love unconditionally when it's not your family...shit...even when it is your family ;) but my need for space from this person has turned into a separation that doesn't bother me...I don't really miss it...the friendship. And that in theory is the fucked up part. No emotional connection regardless of time shared.

shit. now i feel like i'm rambling

Wow the past was perfect. Another weekend in FloRida followed by a week in Atlanta and back home to New Orleans to the best costume party ever!!!! :::Side bar::: didn't know you shouldn't smoke on the mary jane while intoxicated...oh i got that G.I. Jane motto embedded in my head...And knowing's half the battle!

So I spent majority of Saturday throwing up, hydrating, kicking back tylenols and eating freeze pops so I could be up to going out again that night...oh by 10pm I was all better!
"I need faces mad with frowns
When I'm around
Or I'm wasting the fabric" ~Nas

Flyest gear on and perfect new do in place (btw all but 2 inches of my hair disappeared last week ;) we hit the club. Cool crowd. We were dancing til 3 in the morning. Saw a guy I had been eyeing a month before. We exchanged info...we'll see how this Summer for Lovas 2.0 ends....

Iphone tells Weezy F. Baby..."Platinum in 3 days...step ya game up!"

Stevie iBaby and plea$e say the Baby

"My hands don’t like to be unemployed they like to work "

It's weird. If you know me or been through my ipod you would never expect Plies' "The Definition of Real" to pop up...or if you saw it you would probably assume that I was on that Bust it Baby like the rest of the world huh?

Dude I heart this dude. He's that dude from round the block. All jokes aside. He reminds me of this D-boy i kicked it with. Everything about us kicking it was wrong...and please believe I knew better...but. Shit happens...and I liked it...it's over now though...probably dude to him facing some time on federal charges along with a dictionary worth of a to z's of additional reasons.

Can't like though, dude had game...but it was crazy cause a lot of that game was being blunt and honest bout shit. He was attracted to this good girl/school girl image and I was attracted to the hustler...and between that dope ass conversations ensued....minus all the bullshit.

I respected that about him.

Long story short, Plies reminds me of him...or at least through his music. Raps about what he knows even though it comes off as ignorant as the phuck to some...i like it...just like i liked that dude

It's been a long time...i shouldn't have left you...without a dope blog to read to

So it's been a minute...well I hope I can keep it up this time. Actually, I may just like I may not....problem is life hasn't been too consistent lately.

Sorta like that Nas rhyme "A thug changes, and love changes and best friends become strangers, word up"

Now for some reason Nina Simone's "Motherless Child" is going through my head...pretty apparent why it's hard for me to keep on track.

Well there's a new blog address...the one that's above. When I first started blogging it was right after moving back to the N.O. after Katrini and I just wanted to share my thoughts with everyone expecting feedback of any sort. So I emailed my friends and fam the blog address and before I knew it conversations being held over dinner or dessert somehow ending up referencing some part of a blog entry...which was cool for the time.

The more that started happening the more I wished I hadn't sent the address to certain people. It prohibited my writing/blogging to a more generic Minority Reporter...one that wouldn't discuss personal issues for fear of backlash or someone taking things personal or for the simple fact of me just not being that type of person who likes people in their business....funny that's the case and this blog is available to millions upon a search engine huh? lol

Well here's my declaration...this dat New new shit....lmao

I want to consistently blog.

That's it.

So here we go.....

Bittersweet

You're gonna be the death of me
I don't want you, but I need you
I love you and hate you at the very same time
See what I want so much, shit never hurt this bad
Never did this before, that's what the virgin says
We've been generally warned, that's what the surgeon says

God talk to me now, this is an emergency

So I jacked an idea for a blog...but I gave credit

I’m sure you’ve played this game before; but suppose you were stranded on a deserted island with a solar powered iPod. I’m sure you’re thinking “Bet, 160 gigs of music I’ll be set until I’m rescued!” The only catch is that for the solar power to work you can only have ten albums. Not really logical, but neither is being on stranded on an island, so play along. What ten would you pick?


Who Is Jill Scott?: Words and Sounds, Vol. 1 - Jilly from Philly
Mama's Gun - Silly E Badu
Frank - Blake Incarcerated aka Amy Winehouse
Aquemini - Outkast
American Gangster - Jay everyday
Graduation - And oh yeah Yeezy
The Cool - Lupe
It Was Written - Nas
This Week - Jean Greezy
Purple Rain Sdtk - Prince

And if somebody would of told me a month ago frontin' tho, Yo I wouldn't wanna know

If somebody would of told me a year ago it'll go get this difficult

"Even the sun goes down
heroes eventually die
Horoscopes often lie
and sometimes "y"
nothin' is for sure
nothin' is for certain
nothin' lasts forever"

Fin.

If you're not caught up on the OnDemand episodes of The Wire...don't be reading my bleezy

cause Ima be on some "Damnnnnnn you see Omar Little get murked?"

OMG

OmG
OmGoshhhhhhhhhhh

So I retired around 9 last night with the intention of catching the new episode of The Wire this morning and finishing on my lunch break...but I wanna get all restless at 2am...so what I do...get outta bed and head to the living room to watch my favorite show of all time!

...and I can't even lie. When Omar asked for that pack of newports it seemed a bit eerie...ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...and oh how I loved how Lester got all up in Sen. Davis' ass....

damn

only 2 episodes left

shit

HA...and Pooh working at your neighborhood footlocker...

State of the Black Union's this weekend...anyone going

I'm about to crash...I gotta get up at 6 to workout....

trynna make a habit of this

we'll see

bye

!

"I love the Lord, but sometimes it's like that I love me more"

Somehow I can't get past track #4 on The Cool. The first verse pops off with the realest ish I ever heard...not Pac inspired...well, it may be...idk

I've began the process of that whole "looking in the mirror...finding the root of all that anger"

I'm upset with myself. I hear M.Dot on the other end of the phone telling me "You know better!"

duuuuuude....I KNOW!

I Do!

This shit hurts though.

I've exposed scars that weren't yet completely healed and turned away from things that would've made the situation better.

I KNOW BETTER

i do.

I couldn't be unemployed

I mean as much as I dread getting up early Monday thru Friday mornings (and I sincerely Love my job)...i just couldn't spend many days like today...I did absolutly NOTHING

and to top it off I'm fading back to Black with Amy...I know this isn't heathly for my day...

My French coworker (wait...all but 3 of my coworkers are French...well you get me) made me her version of an apple pie to welcome me to the neighborhood...did I mention that I moved? OHhh...well my new place is GREAT!



A QUICHE'



Yummy!

I finally bought some more hangers and now I'm completely unpacked...well...with the clothes at least






a box free bedroom...now I think I'll sleep in there!


I'm going crazy...I think I miss work?

OnDemand is celebrating Black History Month

And I love it...shiiiiiiittttt (imitating Sen Clay Davis) this part still gives me chills...and to be honest, I've watched The Wiz twice since yesterday...watch out Devil Wears Prada. "Get me Demarchelier!...I have Patrick!"

Sen. Obama's in New Orleans today


without mr. bridges though :(

Has anyone been watching Boondocks lately? Ish has been extra hilarious!!!!!


Homies Over Hoes...Catcher Freeman..."Can a nicka borrow a french fry?"

Damn and I thought it couldn't get any better than season 1 "Huey, I just don't think I belong in this new world. I don't know if I need the 20 gig iPod or the 40 gig. I tried to download some Mahalia Jackson, but I lost my iTunes password."