My eyes are wide shut right now

i got up at 5 this morning, why???? shit i don't know.

hey i hope you're reading this cause i kinda wanna be childish without any reason that i care to give. i know you already know, so why do we keep bullshitting. well not me, but you. yeah i know, i cant deal with it...kinda fuck'd up but thats life. so lets just hope you're blogging and happen to run across this one, lets just change the name of this title to closure.

omg state of the black union was so, cant find a word, dont really want to define it as one word, but it made me walk away feeling...inspired, proud walked away with a lot to think and act on

this subject deserves a decent blog so i must get some sleep and start again tomorrow

Just call me willy wonka...

cause i got my golden ticket (watch out niggan, my bad nagin)!!!!! well...pending jed's confirmation ::wink::

dave chappelle block party here we come. i don't actually know what it is we are going to: stand up, concert, both? but i know then joints cost us 55 dolares en espanol. we saw dave like 2 years ago? that dude was so funny, no seriously from the opening act to the end of dave's set i was crying laughing.

so much to do at work yet i feel like im not accomplishing anything. plus im about to miss 3 days plus mardi gras...yeah but no cause ima have piles of shit to do when i get back from my mini vacat. i think im oprah, but my bank acct doesn't reflect her #'s...shit probably not even her interests. oh well

went to sweet fire & ice...okay, not one for the cheesecake scoops though

remember when cash money was local and they were beefin with big boy (pnc)? member when 400 degrees came out for the 2nd time but we were bumpin dat back dat ass up and juvenile on fire...we were listening to that yesterday, now i know as a sociologist and feminist im not suppose to be on that, but i tell u like i told my black women and violence class "i try to live my life as personal as political but sometimes the beat be callin me, i ain't gonna lie get low is one of my fav. songs and i on the window to the wall when that joint comes on"

peace i gotta get under this dryer i nicknamed hell

Yeah I got my car!!!!!

finally got my car...trini thought she had me...but naw i gots a highlander (thanks jed for the advise) Thank you Lord!!!!

Niggers Are Scared of Revolution

Niggers Are Scared of Revolution

Niggers are scared of revolution
But niggers shouldn't be scared of revolution
Because revolution is nothing but change
And all niggers do is change

Niggers come in from work and change into pimping clothes
And hit the streets to make some quick change
Niggers change their hair from black to red to blond
And hope like hell their looks will change

Nigger kill other niggers
Just because one didn't receive the correct change
Niggers change from men to women, from women to men
Niggers change, change, change

You hear niggers say
Things are changing? Things are changing?
Yeah, things are changing
Niggers change into 'Black' nigger things
Black nigger things that go through all kinds of changes
The change in the day that makes them rant and rave
Black Power! Black Power!
And the change that comes over them at night, as they sigh and moan:
White thighs, ooh, white thighs
Niggers always goin' through bullshit change
But when it comes for real change
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers are actors, niggers are actors
Niggers act like they are in a hurry
To catch the first act of the 'Great White Hope

Niggers try to act like Malcolm
And when the white man doesn't react
Toward them like he did Malcolm
Niggers want to act violently

Niggers act so coooool and slick
Causing white people to say:
What makes you niggers act like that?
Niggers act like you ain't never seen nobody act before
But when it comes to acting out revolution
Niggers say: 'I can't dig them actions!'
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers are very untogether people
Niggers talk about getting high and riding around in 'els'
Niggers should get high and ride to hell
Niggers talk about pimping
Pimping that, pimping what
Pimping yours, pimping mine
Just to be pimping, is a helluva line

Niggers are very untogether people
Niggers talk about the mind
Talk about: My mind is stronger than yours
"I got that bitch's mind uptight!"
Niggers don't know a damn thing about the mind
Or they'd be right
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers fuck. Niggers fuck, fuck, fuck
Niggers love the word fuck
They think it's so fuckin' cute
They fuck you around
The first thing they say when they're mad: 'Fuck it'
You play a little too much with them
They say 'Fuck you'
When it's time to TCB
Niggers are somewhere fucking
Try to be nice to them, they fuck over you

Niggers don't realize while they doin' all this fucking
They're getting fucked around
And when they do realize it's too late
So niggers just get fucked up

Niggers talk about fucking
Fuckin' that, fuckin' this, fuckin' yours, fuckin' my sis
Not knowing what they're fucking for
They ain't fucking for love and appreciation
Just fucking to be fucking

Niggers fuck white thighs, black thighs, yellow thighs, brown thighs
Niggers fuck ankles when they run out of thighs
Niggers fuck Sally, Linda, and Sue
And if you don't watch out
Niggers will fuck you!
Niggers would fuck 'Fuck' if it could be fucked
But when it comes to fucking for revolutionary causes
Niggers say 'Fuck revolution!'
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers are players, niggers are players, are players
Niggers play football, baseball and basketball
While the white man cuttin' off their balls

When the nigger's play ain't tight enough
To play with some black thighs
Niggers play with white thighs
To see if they still have some play left
And when there ain't no white thighs to play with
Niggers play with themselves

Niggers tell you they're ready to be liberated
But when you say 'Let's go take our liberation'
Niggers reply: 'I was just playin'
Niggers are playing with revolution and losing
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers do a lot of shootin'
Niggers do a lot of shootin'

Niggers shoot off at the mouth
Niggers shoot pool, niggers shoot craps
Niggers cut around the corner and shoot down the street
Niggers shoot sharp glances at white women
Niggers shoot dope into their arm

Niggers shoot guns and rifles on New Year's Eve
A new year that is coming in
The white police will do more shooting at them
Where are niggers when the revolution needs some shots!?
Yeah, you know. Niggers are somewhere shootin' the shit
Niggers are scared of revolution

Niggers are lovers, niggers are lovers, are lovers
Niggers love to see Clark Gable
Make love to Marilyn Monroe
Niggers love to see Tarzan fuck all the natives
Niggers love to hear the Lone Ranger yell "Heigh Ho Silver!"

Niggers love commercials, niggers love commercials
Oh how niggers love commercials:
"You can take niggers out of the country, but
you can't take the country out of niggers"

Niggers are lovers, are lovers, are lovers
Niggers loved to hear Malcolm rap
But they didn't love Malcolm
Niggers love everything but themselves

But I'm a lover too, yes I'm a lover too
I love niggers, I love niggers, I love niggers

Because niggers are me
And I should only love that which is me
I love to see niggers go through changes
Love to see niggers act
Love to see niggers make them plays and shoot the shit

But there is one thing about niggers I do not love
Niggers are scared of revolution

-The Last Poets

(featured on The Boondocks)

When the revolution comes

you ever have those days where you feel like you can conquer the world but then you open the door and discover how big the world really is?

why is the revolution being televised but everyone is changing the channel?

are we past revolution and evolving into a democratic state of complacency?

yesterday after saying "no comment" to the press, dick cheney drove off but you could hear the music he was listening to, "who shot ya" by biggie? lmao...i told that to my cuz this morning

am i going to participate in the march on april 1st in new orleans with jesse jackson and al sharpton to raise awareness of the people in n.o. who want a new orleans that wants them

i will; only if they will be here after april 2nd


"When the revolution comes

When the revolution comes

some of us will catch it on TV

with chicken hanging from our mouths

you'll know it's revolution

because there won't be no commercials

when the revolution comes"

-the last poets

i cant come up with a title, title cause untitled would still be a title right?

lol my b.f.f. is the funniest person i have ever known. so i called her saturday and she told me that she was watching Oprah friday, and she spoke on how she and gayle talk every night, so she told me that if oprah talks to gayle every night i cant be busier (sp?...that just don't look right) than her. Lol. i gotta call her

why was andre 3000s flat iron wrap sooooo tight

i'm gonna go to my fav. hot spot tomorrow...barnes and noble...well i can spend hours in any bookstore.

rachel, if you are reading this, what in the hell happened to you. i refuse to email you. if u got evicted from the hotel...my bad i didn't mean to be insensitive, especially when ima need that letter of rec. pretty soon. smile

dave chappelle has been making some good p.r. moves, first Oprah then inside the actors studio. i thought both of the interviews were good in their own right. dude is the shit. funny and smart as hell.
i'm going to see his block party...that was like my ultimate concert....well let me see, my ultimate concert..

kweli, jean grae, outkast, common, john "the" legend, kanye, the fugees-pras-wycleff=ms hill, nas, hov, erykah badu, jilly from philly, shit ima be drove cause i know ima think of somebody i shouldve put on my list tomorrow

i am sitting up here thinking of things to write, thoughts aren't there, well maybe they are but some people told me they actually read this so i kinda have to let me fingers play fcc and censor what i'm thinking before it hits the screen.

so until next time

why didn't the white house leak that cheney shot his hunting partner? oh come on are you serious? enough of that...not feeling the writing or reading lately. i will start my one book a week on sunday.

driving home the other day i passed by a pottery class. i think i really want to take up pottery. my friends laughed at me but, um...i really don't care. i remember when we were younger at this summer program i took a pottery class and me and this other girl told the teacher we had taken pottery classes before just so we could get on the wheel first...of course we were lying but hey we've all seen Ghost and didn't that look cool?

valentine's day..."this is dedicated to the lover...in u"

rev. lowery is the man...this dude is so funny. :::plug:::he's gonna be at the State of the Black Union weekend

O did you hear about the Black reps walking out of the special session last night. Voting...the disenfranchisement of Black votes will be a very big issue with this mayoral election. Iraquis get to vote from Amerika. Why can't New Orleanians (sp?) vote from neighboring states due to the WORST natural disaster to EVER hit these UNITED STATES?????

enough, i gotta start working

OMG this song goes off

I must've listened to this song at least 5 times and just the first part 10 just this morning. Not that I just started listening to Mary's cd, but I had Jamie, Kanye and John in heavy rotation for about a month.

"Cause the sex was good you had my mind and I let you come back every time
you were violate & cross the line
and you knew that I would be the type to
always wait so patiently(thinking)
you was coming home to me(well)
damn I never heard the keys or
felt your tap saying are you sleep
(rewind that)
Cause the sex was good you had my mind and I let you come back every time
you were violating cross the line
and you knew that I would be the type to
always wait so patiently(thinking)
you was coming home to me(well)
damn I never heard the keys or
felt your tap saying are you sleep"

State of the Black Union 2006

lmao, did u see the mlk episode

21 questions part II...random thoughts

random thoughts/questions for 2-7-06

what's ur addiction? is is money is it clothes is is weed? i've been afflicted but not one, not two, but all three

why has that song been in my head all day

as we watch the funeral of Mrs. Coretta Scott King do we realize that we must pick up the torch and march on

why does tavis come on so damn late now

ima be pissed if j. legend don't win tomorrow

who watches that flava flav show

i ain't gonna lie i be on that nick cannon show

lmao i laugh everytime i see marion barry saying "bitch set me up"

when does the new season of def poetry start

when does the new season of the sopranos start

seinfeld is so funny. why am i just finding this out????

paul mooney been around forever and 3 days

remember that episode of good times when jay leno was on there in the clinic...the one where the girl told jj "i got an std and i got it from u"

jean grae the first time i heard "where u gonna run" when she says the rhyme about rudy huxtable "...hands in the air, knees in knees out"

i wanted clair huxtable to be my moms

my favorite episode of the cosby show is when rudy cant wear her summer dress so she goes to her room and dances and cries to ray charles singing "its not easy being green"

common introduced me to assata shakur in "a song for assata" changed my life

talib and kanye introduced me to nina simone...oh and tiffany, i used her "images" song in my body politics paper, thanks for the heads up

cola: "lets call her buffy"
barcardi "f. that, that b is the slayer"

cingular is so wrong for their internet plans

mother leaves tomorrow....lo siento por jed lol

wanda sykes show was soo funny

why are political prisoners from the civil rights movement era still in prison and/or death row

omg james baldwin's letter to angela davis "if they come for us in the morning" (i think thats the name...forgive me) is a must read by all. personal is political

why marlo really thought my name was elisa keys lol

shit i need to by the 20th ann. dvd of purple rain again...trini

i hate apple computers, i cant wait til bellsouth comes to fix the modem...where/who am i stealing this signal from

i remember watching the wiz but i don't remember any part of it...but i can sing somewhere over the rainbow

this is interesting how the older generation views the wiz vs toure

blueberry muffins from whole foods...breakfast

i wanna go to new york this year...im gonna go to ny this year

oh gosh ima be a quarter century this year

i feel like inside the actors studio now...side note i think dave chappelle will be on there this week

favorite word...hiphop

least favorite word...bush

favorite curse word...pussy (its a joke from the sopranos...pussy is so funny to say aloud...pussy...lmao)

what sound makes me happy...the intro to BE

what sound make me mad...stupidity...trust me, u have heard it too...and it pissed u off huh

"elisa this is your class, thank you for being on the actors studio"

I have looked at this blank screen for 10 min. so I guess I should write something, "Looking out on a morning rain, I used to feel so uninspired"....still do sometimes. I thought u made me feel like a natural woman, but that was me living vicariously through mary through aretha. now i feel...numb. period. nothing else. just numb. no cares if you will ever call me again. don't even remember the last time we spoke, i mean really talked to each other. each of us holding secrets scared to tell one another. but i found yours out first, allowing me the exit stratagy i'd been waiting on but i just needed the director's cue. well He told me, then showed me and left me to decide. Selfishly i decided if i couldn't have all i would take none. jessica care moore told me i was "in love with potential" and i believe her. ima email my professor before i make a final decision, i cant find her email...oh wait...here it is...www.miseducation.edu

Ms. Hill...I need ur advise

Blue Monday

I just did a pic of Annie Lee's Blue Monday...I hope it comes up (just btwn u and i, i don't think i did it right) I used to have the figurine of that painting but Trini decided she wanted it more.

Thats the way i feel today. Can't really complain about sleep cause i got my fare share yesterday.

Oh i saw that new Sanaa Lathan movie, it was good. I thought it would be pretty lame and barely touch the real issues with racism, white v.s. black as well as internalized racism, but it touched on a lot of it plus had me thinking of other things and step outside of my boundaries and look at the situation of interracial dating from another vantage point...but i am toooooo tired to even go there right now.

Awww why nacho got married and had a child...that's for my costa rican clique. but my bad let me rephrase that, who would marry nacho and have his child...what ever happened to con queso?

i hope my barcardi comes down for the summer. i promise i think he is the coolest dude ive ever met...and we are still cool. it's funny though cause i talk about him all the time and when people finally get to see a picture of him 10 times out of 10 their response is "oh, he's white" they say the same thing about my roommate (awww trini...last roommate) too. but that's a whole sociological reasoning behind that...ya'll know i'm down for that convo...pero not right now.

hey barcardi...if u are reading this Slice is open. I guess i call that our spot, and since it survived trini, i guess it's special:::wink:::

i must start preparing for the gre this week. i am looking at my calender oh 3 weeks til i'm back in chi-city (i rap with the passion of Christ nigga cross me) aw that concert is gonna be so hype i can't wait.

Blue Monday

True Brew

As I spent a night living just enough for the city of....well i thought of all the things i used to do pre-k.

True brew on friday nights was the shit. I would warm up by watching def poetry while getting ready and always arrive to a packed house. I remember the last time i went i had so much fun. The poetry that night wasn't on point as it could've been but i remember having one of the best conversations that night. just chilling in the middle of the street talkin. bout what???? everything and nothing at the same time.

awww the good old days

dave chappelle on oprah today

aw man the hype to watch oprah today is on. I have my lil ass tv on top of my cpu and at 3 it gonna be on. That sucks that this is the highlight of my week huh?

I'm on that "again" by John Legend really really hard right now. I hope he wins big at the grammy's. I don't want to sound like i'm hating or anything ;-) but....no scratch that, let me begin with this. Mariah is a good singer and all but compare to who she is up against, she shouldn't win a thing. Her vocals and songs that we could relate to when we were teens was cool...when we were teens. but now this emancipation of a so called mimi is ridiculous.

late registration....dope, get lifted...classic, Be...so good i had to buy it twice; lil mimi realizing she's free...that would've been tight if i wrote...pricesless...but uhhh...no.

as i close i just have a couple of jadakiss why questions

why does my boss email me on my personal accounts...especially when i have 2 work emails...especially when my signature is "i make Black history Everyday, I don't need a month"
that's cool though, i love to reply to her emails.

why is common performing at the chi hob 3 nights in a row

why is my lil cuz so retarded...she is hilarious "check up on it" oh my bad...no internet

why is bush actin like he tryin to get osama, why don't we impeach him and elect obama...yeah i need to finish reading that book...or at least get past the 3rd chapter

why is everybody still sleepin on jean grae, i promise "not like me" is my theme song

why is houstons on st. charles not houstons anymore

why do we have to go all the way to baton rouge to get cheesecake bistro

why cant i find an af. amer special on tv after feb. 28th

why did sprint raise prices after the merge with nextel

why doesn't corinne have a cell phone yet...my gosh katrina better teach u something...glad u found me

why my lil sis having issues at her new school...handle ur business

that's okay barcardi, i've been anti social too

lo siento por ti ;-( not in the sarcastic way that we invented the phrase in but I'm sorry to all that I have been anti-social to the umpth degree. I've just been living in Post-Katrina New Orleans and well just don't feel like talking to anyone. It's not that I'm maliciously screening and dodging calls but the ringer is just kept on permanent silent, the days pass, mornings i wake up go to work, come home and watch a little t.v. and go to sleep, very uneventful.

I think that's why i write in this blog, so i can have a vicarious phone conversation through my writings...i know its a lame excuse but well, i'm not trying to hurt anyones feelings cause i promise "it's me, not u" lol

On another subject, I watched the first part of Henry "Skip" Gates' Af. Amer. tracing the roots special. http://www.pbs.org/wnet/aalives/ That guy is always on point. Common once said "Not knowing the future, I don't repeat the past. I know enough to know I don't know much" well i add on because not knowing my past i cant fully see my future. There was so much freedom in knowing the history of their families and the stories though not all good provided them with answers and showed ways in which Black communities were held together after the abolition of slavery through the Black church.

Gates stated something in which I always knew, to pharaphrase "racism wasn't about pigmentation, or the color of skin...it was about economics" Throughout the last year and a half of my undergrad studies I started to really have an interest in sociology and take many classes dealing with race gender and class. I started to explore the word and practice of capitalism and how it relates to slavery, reconstruction, post reconstruction, civil rights movement and present time.

Willie Lynch exposed this secret conspirancy to us through his speech, "the making of a slave" (sorry for the long quotes but its my blog...lo sient por ti...u know how i mean it)

"...I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING YOUR BLACK SLAVES. I guarantee every one of you that if installed correctly IT WILL CONTROL THE SLAVES FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On top of my list is "AGE" but it's there only because it starts with an "A." The second is "COLOR" or shade, there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations, ATTITUDE of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you a outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don't forget you must pitch the OLD black Male vs. the YOUNG black Male, and the YOUNG black Male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE. And the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have you white servants and over- seers distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen."

Divide and conquer has always been the "american way" and it is still prevalant today. I believe that capitalism is the umbrella in which racism, sexism, classism and other -ism are byproducts (no one is more/less powerful than the next). So many people are dividing themselves based on who is the "more oppressed" group...guess what....there is none, if we keep fussing and fighting over hierarchy of oppression, that group who has been at the top will continue to be at the top. Audre Lourde states, "The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House"

Let that soak for a while and ima be back tomorrow.

6 sentences....

that was all that was allocated to talking about Katrina and the rebuilding of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. That's nothing when he spent more than 30 min. justifying the war in Iraq and the U.S. bring democracy to these countries...oh but wait before he started his speech, he acknowledged the spirit, life and courageous life struggles of Mrs. Coretta Scott King, then without a doubt he began to go against everything that Mr. & Mrs. King's fought for.

throughout the whole speech i was disgusted because i wanted to know who are the 41% of people who still approve of him? i cant speak on this anymore cause my nerves are getting bad, plus like he said he is extending the patriot act...no not the voting rights act, to help guarantee the enfranchisement of Black voters, but prolonging the patriot act so that gov't can have the right to your most intimate conversations thereby leaving the first amendment completely null and void.

i love john legend's cover of nina simone's "don't let me be misunderstood" I saw a jadore commercial very recently that used ms. simone's version...i was very suprised. it's a trip because 2 years ago i had no idea who nina simone was but now i recognize her genious has influenced almost every piece of music i listen to. when i was working at a Black art gallery i met this teacher and we began talking about this piece that dealt with Black body politics and she began to sing this song:
"She does not know Her beauty, She thinks her brown body Has no glory.If she could dance Naked, Under palm trees And see her image in the river She would know.But there are no palm trees On the street, And dishwater gives back no images."

That song was in my head for like a month. I understood everything that Ms. Simone said about this woman, after all I just got was installing my dishwasher when i heard the song.

i thought this would be longer but in the words of ms. badu

"Steady on the grind Stead on the grind
‘Cause I got to make it happen
my family depending on me
Steady on the grind Steady on the grind
‘Cause I got to make it happen
‘aint nobody gone do it for me"